Do You Really Need To Go?

 

As I’ve been sharing recipes and writing blogs about my earlier days of parenting, my eldest daughter, my pride and joy and a jewel in my crown of parenting is preparing to leave for Denmark on a six month university exchange program! So, I’ve got plenty of advice for families with younger children, but now I find myself needing some advice on how to cope with my baby leaving the nest!

When your children are little, you have full control over them – you tuck them up into bed and know where they are and that they are safe; you know what they are eating, how long they are sleeping etc etc. That season of life as a parent is a precious one and I believe one that as parents, we want to be over far too quickly.

Naturally as they grow older and start making some of their own decisions, our level of control over them drops until eventually they are pretty much doing it all on their own.  That’s all well and good – we can’t be tucking them in to their beds forever, but it’s an entirely different stage when your firstborn tells you she is not only moving out, but moving to a different country!!!

Yes, and you may console me by saying “it’s only for six months,” and I realize that this is true and the time will probably fly by, and we’ll be able to not only talk but also see each other on the modern wonder of Skype, but I have to admit as a mother that it just wont’ be the same as having her right here under my roof.

The real truth of the matter is that I am going to miss her – not just because she is my daughter, but because she is more of a friend to me now and such a pleasure to have around. If someone had of told me almost 21 years ago when I gave birth to her that I would have to take her to the airport this week and say goodbye to her for six months, I wouldn’t have been able to fathom it, so great were my protective instincts for her, and yet here I am, having to prepare to do that very thing.

Where have all the years gone? It’s astounding how quickly they have passed by. This is just another season of life I tell myself – she wasn’t going to stay at home with me forever, but it doesn’t make it any easier unfortunately.  I find myself torn between hoping that she will change her mind and stay (not likely to happen as I’ve already checked with her), and wanting her to explore the world and follow her own dreams. It’s a position that I am not particularly comfortable with as it’s so foreign and new to me.

I am dreading the trip to the airport so much that I am finding that I just want it to be over and done with, but I also want to spend as much time as I can with her before she leaves. I have even found myself dreaming about the airport parting as she walks through those gates at customs with me chasing after her – “No, don’t go,” I cry!

As I enter this new season of my life, my prayer for her is that she will be safe, but also that she will experience many wonderful adventures while she is away. My prayer for myself is that I will get through the 6 months intact as I count down the days till she comes home!

Grandpa’s Slice – My Favourite Easy Slice Recipe

A few years ago my friend shared this recipe with me. It was dubbed ‘Grandpa’s Slice’ by her children, as their Grandmother made it often for their Grandfather.

The thing that really appeals to me about it is that you make it with simple pantry ingredients, and it really is so quick to throw together and pop in the oven. If you have people dropping round unexpectedly, you can have it in the oven within roughly 10 minutes! That’s pretty fast, and is so much nicer to serve up than something bought from the supermarket.

I also use it for the kid’s school lunchboxes – I know it may not be the healthiest of options, but at least I know what’s in it, and it’s a special treat for them.

The recipe (below) uses 1 cup of ingredients of choice. By this I mean you can use one ingredient such as chocolate, or you could combine 2 or 3 different ingredients, such as coconut, rolled oats and chocolate chips, to make up the cup. It really is up to you, and what you might have available in the pantry at the time.

I usually pick up a block of Cadbury chocolate when I see it on special – that way I always have something handy. I do, however, hide the chocolate somewhere so it is still there when I want to use it for the slice!! Numerous times I’ve had to change the hiding location as the kids keep finding it!

Recipe –

125g butter

¾ cup brown sugar firmly packed

1 cup self-raising flour

1 egg

1 cup of ingredients of your choice

Set oven at 180 degrees C.

Grease or spray a slice or lamington tin.

Melt butter in a saucepan with brown sugar and mix well.

Still working in the saucepan, mix in the self-raising flour, then the egg.

Finally add the cup of ingredients of your choice.

Place in oven and bake for approx. 15 mins or until the top is browned.

If you like a crunchier texture, bake for slightly longer.

Suggested ingredients – your favourite block of chocolate (my favourite is Cadbury Top Deck and I use the whole block rather than just a cup), M & M’s, coconut, rolled oats, dried fruit, Peppermint Crisp, Mint Slice or Tim Tams, Crunchie bars, Mars Bars, Turkish Delight, marshmallows, chocolate chips, Scotch Finger biscuits. So many options!!!

Keep trying until you find your favourite ingredient, or combination of ingredients. Store in an airtight container for up to a week.

Hopefully you will enjoy making it, and eating it of course, as much as my family do!

Date Nights – Keeping Things Fresh With Your Spouse

 

Photos taken at Chateau Yering Yarra Valley

One of the best things you can do for your family is take time out to spend with your partner. I know that finding a good babysitter can sometimes be difficult, but your children will thank you when they are older and you, as a couple, are still together!

Things are so much easier now that our five children are older – we have a lot more freedom to come and go as we like, but when they were still little, my husband and I tried to make a point of getting out on our own at least once a fortnight if not each week. Having young children is lovely, but can be very demanding on each parent. You both need a break from the hustle and bustle of family life, and spending a night with your spouse can be an enjoyable way of having some time off and also spending some quality time together.

The main reason that I say this is because when your children are all grown up and they’ve moved out, it will just be you and your spouse.  You don’t want to find yourself in a situation where the only thing you had in common was the children and now that they’ve gone, there’s nothing left in your relationship. If you don’t take time to keep your relationship fresh and exciting while the kids are young, you may find that as a couple you have grown apart once the kids are not around. And no one really wants that!

So taking the time to prevent this happening is a really good investment in your family’s long time health. Over the years we have done many different date nights – we’ve played squash, gone out to dinner, seen a movie, had a coffee and dessert night, gone ten pin bowling, walked around the city, gone for a drive to the country…..it really doesn’t matter what activity you choose to do as long as it is something you are doing together.

More recently we found that we were spending a fortune on going out to dinner so we began a new routine of going out for breakfast on a weekend morning as it was so much cheaper than dinner. Each weekend, my husband and I would take turns in choosing a location (some were close and others further afield) and go for a decent walk to begin, then take our time over a leisurely breakfast. It was always a very enjoyable way to spend time together.

Another benefit of having a date with your spouse is that it gives you something to look forward to amongst all the stresses of being a parent.  When things are trying, at least you can think ahead to what is coming up on your next date. Try and plan early so that you know what you will be doing and when.

Last weekend we celebrated my husband’s birthday and enjoyed the treat of going away for a night with some friends. We went to the Yarra Valley and stayed at Chateau Yering which is an old homestead style of hotel, and we had an absolutely amazing time. The accommodation was really lovely – older style furnishings but very classy ones. And there were plenty of sitting rooms with open fireplaces to gather with  our friends. We had a most inspiring meal at the onsite restaurant and a lovely breakfast at the onsite cafe the next morning. A thoroughly enjoyable time! I have included some photos of the rooms which were very spacious and had great views.  This was a special occasion outing and not something we would do every week, but it wouldn’t hurt to plan for something like this a couple of times a year.

Of course these things take time to plan and prepare for, but I am confident that it is worth the effort to rejuvenate and refresh your relationship.  Your children may miss you for a night or a few hours here and there, but keeping your relationship with your spouse healthy will benefit the whole family unit for many years to come.

MAKING TOMATO PASSATA – I WISH I WAS ITALIAN!

    

Although I’m not Italian, I’d like to be! I’ve even suggested to my kids that when there’s grandchildren in the picture, they could call me Nonna.  Unfortunately they laughed at my suggestion.

So that being said, even without an Italian heritage to boast, I have some great friends who are Italian and over the years I have been blessed to learn many of their recipes. I’ve even been lucky enough to make ‘wog sauce’ with them. What a process that is! My friend describes it as a day of ‘penance’ that has benefits for the rest of the year!

Due to the massive process of making the sauce, we haven’t been able to do it for the last few years so I have developed my own method that I can do more easily and in a smaller quantity in my own kitchen. My family are very happy with the result and although it’s not quite as good as the traditional sauce, it comes very close.

The sauce is so versatile and can be used in so many different dishes.  For example, use it a pasta sauce on it’s own or with other ingredients added, in a minestrone soup, as a nachos salsa-type sauce, a pizza sauce, a sauce for parmigiana and even in a chilli con carne.

As I am feeding a lot of people and we use the sauce regularly, I always make it in a bulk quantity. If you are going to bottle the sauce, you will need approx. 6 bottles for the recipe below. Any type of glass jar/bottle with a screw top metal lid will do – jam jars are a good example.

Fresh tomatoes are best to use however they need to be peeled – if you decide to use fresh, cut a cross in the base of each tomato with a sharp knife, then immerse in boiling water for about 5 minutes. This will enable the skins to be peeled off easily.

For the purposes of providing measurements for the recipe, I will give quantities for canned tomatoes. If you use fresh, you can make as little or as much as you like.

RECIPE –           

Tinned tomatoes 2.55kg (available from delicatessens or a bulk food store such as Costco. If you can’t get that size, use 3 x 800g tins)

1/3 cup olive oil

I onion

2 cloves of garlic

3 heaped teaspoons chicken stock powder (I use Massell brand)

1 teaspoon cooking salt

1 heaped teaspoon of sugar

¼ cup each of finely chopped fresh continental parsley and basil

I/2 tablespoon finely chopped oregano

Heat olive oil in a large saucepan/soup pot. Saute the chopped onion and garlic until transparent. Put tomatoes in (dice them if you are using fresh tomatoes) and cook for about 5 mins. Using a bamix or blending stick, puree the tomato mixture till smooth.  Bring to the boil then add the remaining ingredients and cook for around 30 minutes.

During the cooking time, taste the sauce and adjust to your taste preferences. You may think it needs more salt or sugar. It shouldn’t be really tart, but it shouldn’t be overly sweet either. As each tin of tomatoes can taste different depending on their acidity, each batch of sauce needs to have the taste adjusted accordingly.

If you are going to bottle the sauce, you will need approx. 6 bottles for this quantity. Any type of glass jar/bottle with a screw top metal lid will do – jam jars are a good example.

Put the hot sauce into the bottles (using a funnel is the easiest way to do this) and place the filled bottles in a cold oven.  Set the oven at about 125 degrees and allow the bottles to heat up for about 30 minutes before turning the oven off.

As the bottles cool down, you will hear popping noises coming from your oven as each of the bottles seal themselves. I leave them in the oven till I can lift them out with bare hands (leaving them to cool overnight is a good way of doing this). I can then store my sauce for as long as a year in my pantry. This cuts out having to make it from scratch every time you need it.

Once you’ve opened a bottle, store in the refrigerator. It can be used for up to about a week after opening.

Happy sauce making!     

Creating Family Memories

What can you remember about your childhood? No doubt several things will come to mind – some will be bad, but hopefully there are some good memories tucked away in there somewhere as well.

I believe that one of the most important parts of being a parent is to create happy memories that your children can look back at and smile upon.  Sure, there will always be housework, cooking and your career to think about, but it doesn’t take long to create something that your kids will remember.

To start with, a really good idea is to keep a special journal of all the things that your kids have said, done, enjoyed/disliked over the years that they can read back over as they get older.

I have kept a book that my kids still call ‘The Takle Family Memories’ in which I included things such as what they loved most about a holiday we had been on, exciting day trips, funny things they had said to each other or other people, words that they had for items that weren’t quite right ( Asher called a blanket a ‘blank-let’ and Holly called a nightie a ‘nighting-gown’ for years!)

These are the sorts of things that your children will enjoy reading about when they get older; things that you will probably forget as the years go by. Keeping all these memories together in written form will alleviate this. I have actually now taken all the things I’ve recorded and put them into a word document so that I can keep adding to it when the need arises, and also that way I will be able to give each of them a copy.

Over the years, we have done some really strange/funny things just to keep life interesting for the kids, and these are the things that they still talk about today.

They loved me telling them stories, but not reading stories, rather making them up. I created a whole Chinese family and told the kids stories of their antics – the main character’s name was Chop Suey and he was always getting into some sort of mischief but all the stories had some sort of moral or biblical principle to be shared. One activity that the kids did was to each draw all the members of Chop Suey’s family – it was so interesting to see what each child perceived the family to look like.

One night I wanted to give the kids home made fried rice for dinner and I wasn’t sure if they would eat it or not, so I started telling them in the morning that Chop Suey was coming for dinner that night. When night came and it was time for dinner, I dressed Jonathan up in a costume so that the other kids wouldn’t be able to tell it was him, and he knocked on the door and came in as Chop Suey to have dinner with us. I can still recall the looks on the Daniel, Asher and Holly’s faces as they welcomed their guest. Those sorts of things just take a little bit of imagination but are well worth the effort!

Another night when the kids had officially gone to bed, but lights were just out, I crawled to the door of the twins’ room so they wouldn’t see me and proceeded to throw shoes at them in the dark. They got such a shock at first and didn’t know where the shoes were coming from. I couldn’t stop myself from laughing though, so they soon knew it was me.

These are the simplest of things but the kids remember them – they will almost certainly not remember how many times you vacuumed, grocery shopped or how many loads of washing you did, but the little things that you go to the trouble of doing, just to make it fun, those are the things that will create happy childhood memories.

Pizza…..A Family Affair

 

These delicious home made pizzas are something you can get the whole family involved in making. It seems like a great idea to me to not only share in the meal together, but also share in the making of the meal!

All you need to start are some pizza bases – either make your own, or buy them pre-made. Home made bases are delicious but to save time, some of the shop bought options are almost as nice. I use Bazaar bases (in the bread section at Woolworths) as they are yeast free and quite thin which my family like.

Next you will need some tomato sauce for the base, cheese and various toppings. Here’s where the family get to contribute. Have all the toppings cut up and ready to go, then each person can choose their own, custom designing their own pizza.  That way everyone is happy!

Suggested topping options –

Ham

Salami

Onion

Capsicum

Pineapple

Mushroom

Olives

Feta

Goat’s Cheese

Pumpkin

Cherry tomatoes

Pine nuts

Tuna

Seafood mix

Potato

Zucchini

Chilli/Jalapenos

Sour cream/natural yoghurt

Egg

Chicken

Browned mince

Corn chips

Salsa

Pesto

I have included images for two pizzas my daughter and I made earlier in the week. The first has thinly sliced jap pumpkin which was lightly pan fried first, green chilli olives, caramelized onion, pinenuts, feta cheese and rocket (put on when it came out of the oven of course!)

The second has cherry tomatoes, mushroom, caramelized onion, goat’s cheese pre-oven, and after coming out of the oven, rocket, lemon juice and natural yoghurt.

Both were super delicious, but there are so many options of what ingredients to combine.  My advice is not to choose too many ingredients but rather stick to no more than about 3 or 4, excluding the tomato sauce and cheese for the base, so as not to confuse the flavours.

To make the caramelized onion, cook some sliced red onion in a pan with olive oil. When it looks cooked, sprinkle some sugar over the onion and allow it to cook until the onion is browned and looking slightly shriveled. I used three smallish onions and about 1.5 tablespoons of sugar for that quantity of onions.

The onions taste amazing and really turn your pizza into something special.

Getting the kids involved not only helps you but teaches them that cooking can be fun and rewarding.

I Wish I Knew Then What I Know Now

Having children is one of the joys of my life, most of the time! As with most things in life, there are often challenges, but the joy you feel when holding the baby in your arms for the first time is something that can’t be replaced. It’s such an amazing thing, reproducing another human being.

When you start out as a parent, there are a number of things that are overwhelming – will I be a good parent; there’s so much advice available but whose should I take; am I doing this thing right? It can be so confusing.

I can assure you that it usually does get easier with each child you have. By our fifth baby, I was an expert. But I really would’ve liked to have known everything that I knew when having the fifth, when I’d had the first. Things would have been so much clearer and easier!

So in saying that, I’d like to offer a little bit of advice to those of you with young children that I wish I’d known when I was first starting out, things that I should have taken the time to do more of when I had the opportunity.  Hopefully you will find something in this helpful.

Your babies are only going to be little for such a short time – I can still clearly remember having the first, and she will turn 21 this year. Where did all the time go? Take the time to enjoy every day you have with them.  Before you know it, they will have grown up right in front of your eyes, and you don’t want to miss it. Don’t just get through it, take the time to enjoy it.

Don’t be in a hurry to get back to work. There are so many different seasons in our lives, and being at home with your children is one of the most important seasons for you and for them. No one will love your child like you do. I realize that some people have to go back to work for one reason or another, but if you can stay at home with them, make the most of the opportunity and don’t spend your time wishing you were back at work!

Children want to feel secure, so give them plenty of your attention, and plenty of hugs and kisses. Spend time doing things that they like, teaching them new things, showing them new places, sharing in their joy, laughter and tears. Make childhood fun for them, something that they will look back on with many fond memories.

Parents are the most important people in a child’s life, and have the most influence in shaping their characters, thoughts, opinions, hopes and dreams.  A child’s most impressionable years are between birth and seven – whatever you put into them during those years will be one of the major influences for the rest of their lives. Invest wisely in them emotionally, spiritually and physically.

Your family is a gift from God, and although it’s never all smooth sailing, invest now and they will be your greatest asset and your best earthly reward.

DESSERT – Butterscotch Self-Saucing Pudding

I just love dessert!!! It surprises me that there are people in the world who don’t like it.

When our children were little, we would always tell them they had to eat their dinner so they would be allowed to have dessert. Most of the time they ended up eating their dinner.

One of my family’s favourite desserts is my self-saucing butterscotch pudding. I adapted the recipe from a chocolate pudding recipe I had previously made. I wanted to make a pudding that had a taste similar to golden syrup dumplings as they were my very favourite childhood dessert. So I fiddled around a bit and came up with the new recipe that has been very popular.  It’s a really warming treat to have on a cold winter’s night.

I shared this recipe on best recipes.com.au and it has achieved a five star rating and has had 32 reviews. It is very quick to make – I can have it in the oven in around 15 minutes from when I begin making it. Give it a try and see for yourself.

SELF SAUCING BUTTERSCOTCH PUDDING

Serves 8

90g butter

3/4 cup of milk

1 teaspoon vanilla essence

3/4 cup of caster sugar

1.5 cups of self raising flour

Sauce – 3 cups boiling water

1/2 cup brown sugar

2 tablespoons of golden syrup

45g butter

Melt butter in large saucepan or in microwave dish on high.  Add milk, caster sugar, vanilla essence and flour to the same dish and mix well. Spread mixture into greased 8 cup capacity ovenproof baking dish.  I use a rectangular ceramic dish for this.

Sauce – Place butter in a jug and pour the boiling water over it. Mix in other ingredients.  Pour sauce over the top of the pudding mixture and bake in a moderate oven for about 30 minutes.  Serve hot with ice cream.

The recipe is best made close to serving time as the pudding will absorb some of the sauce if you cook it earlier and leave it to sit too long. The recipe makes a nice quantity of sauce though so there should still be enough if you made it a couple of hours ahead.